If you think back to your childhood, you’ll recall that you’ve faced different challenges and gone through down days. Every child will experience something similar and to guide them, it helps to recall your childhood and what you hoped the adults in your life could have done for you. Kids need to know that their parents believe in them and can be a source of encouragement.
Here are a few things to tell your children to remind them that they matter!
1. You’re beautiful
There’s no denying girls and boys are under pressure to look good the moment they wake up. There are plenty of advertisements out there preying on everyone insecurities although certain companies are trying to change that. To help equip your kids for these external pressures, remind them that they are beautiful (or handsome).
2. Stay true to yourself
Other than upkeeping looks, kids will have to navigate what they believe in and who they are. They shouldn’t need to change themselves in order to fit in or please people, especially if it makes them uneasy and unhappy.
3. I love you for who you are
Parents may accidentally compare their kid to another child or their kid’s friends. This not only harms their self-worth but may make them resent you. It can also destroy good friendships between friends. Parents should let their kids know that they love them for who they are and celebrate their strengths.
4. I believe in you
Everyone has self-doubts including children. It doesn’t help that not all teachers have the patience to motivate or give encouragement to their students. During the times when kids feel unsure of themselves or don’t feel confident, they need to know that someone believes in them.
5. You make me proud in so many ways
While telling them you believe in them, add on that you are also proud of them in many ways. Let them know that you are proud that they tried something that scared them (even if they failed), that they helped out an elderly person or the way they managed their allowances. Be genuine and reaffirm what’s going right with them.
6. Some friendships won’t last forever and that’s ok
As adults, we would have experienced this as well so for young kids and especially college teens, let them know that it happens. It’s also important to reassure them that it’s not something to fear and guide them on how to deal with it when it happens.
7. You can always come to me
When kids face troubles such as friendship and relationship problems or even a scraped knee, they usually don’t turn to adults because of fear of being reprimanded. To create a supportive environment, they have to know that they can come to you, the adults, without fear and judgement.
8. Happiness comes from you
Kids shouldn’t have to depend on someone for their happiness. While best friends or romantic partners do make a person happier, they shouldn’t be the only source. To lead a happier life, happiness should come from within themselves.
9. Don’t hold on to anger and resentment
No one is perfect so your kids will go through disappointments and get hurt at some point in their lives. This is why they have to be reminded that they shouldn’t hold on to anger and resentment for too long. Feeling a little anger is good but they have to learn to release it in order to live a healthier life.
10. Memories are what matter
In an increasingly materialistic world, it’s hard not to be drawn into temporary happiness from retail therapy. In teenagers, it can be getting the latest gadgets or the coolest clothes. Thus, it’s important to ingrain in kids that it’s the little things, not material things, that matter at the end of the day.
While some find tough love is better, it doesn’t work for everyone. It’s not because the kids are weak-willed but sometimes everyone just needs a little push from encouraging words!