When a kid starts to wail and throws a tantrum, it breaks parents into a sweat. Parents will also get unfriendly stares from strangers instead of understanding which makes the situation a little trickier. It also doesn’t help when there are elderly people giving you advice on how to manage your child or overriding your authority as the parent.
This happened to Justin Baldoni, an actor who’s famous for starring in Jane the Virgin. While most parent would turn red in embarrassment and scold the child, Justin Baldoni let his daughter Maiya cry on the floor.
Before anyone judges his parenting skills, Justin’s dad or Maiya’s grandpa can be seen in the picture too. Both men were standing over Maiya patiently while Justin’s wife, Emily, took the photo of the moment. Why? Why was this moment important to the family?
The way Justin Baldoni reacted to Maiya’s tantrum was a reflection of what he went through during childhood and how it helped shaped his childhood and emotional development.
He recalled when he was younger, his dad never said “You’re embarrassing me!” or “Don’t cry!” when he threw a temper and just only realized how this helped play a part in his emotional upbringing.
My dad always let me feel what I needed to feel, even if it was in public and embarrassing.
The picture was posted on his Instagram and he explained why he let her cry it out.
Our children are learning and processing so much information and they don’t know what to do with all of these new feelings that come up. I try to remember to make sure my daughter knows it’s OK that she feels deeply. It’s not embarrassing to me when she throws tantrums in the grocery store, or screams on a plane. I’m her dad…not yours.
Let’s not be embarrassed for our children. It doesn’t reflect on you. In fact.. we should probably be a little more kind and patient with ourselves too. If we got out everything we were feeling and allowed ourselves to throw tantrums and cry when we felt the need to then maybe we’d could also let ourselves feel more joy and happiness. And that is something this world could definitely use a little more of.”
What studies have shown?
Studies have shown that not letting kids cry when they are feeling hurt, sad or angry will hurt them in the long run into adulthood. Telling kids not to cry tells them that it’s not ok to feel what they feel. In other words, it’ll be telling them what they feel doesn’t matter.
Teaching kids what, when and how to feel is teaching them to bury their true emotions, which we all know is just not healthy at all. Children and adults should be allowed to express their feelings and talk to someone about it without being reprimanded.
How to deal with tantrums?
A way to deal with their tantrum is to kneel down to their level and tell them that you understand they are upset before explaining why they can’t have the item they want.
It is also important to remember to speak in a calm and loving manner even if they get agitated when you said “No.” It’s not going to be easy but by remaining calm, it will help them calm down too.
Here are the other posts that may help too:
- 5 Ways To Talk To Children So They Will Listen
- 8 Loving Phrases To Calm An Angry Child
- 7 Common Phrases That Won’t Work On Children
Feature images from Parenting and Marie France Asia